The Spider and the Fly

I could say that we are flys caught in a web of lies and deceit. 

Cocooned and ready  for consumption and destruction.

Packaged and unable to break free from the hell that awaits us. 

But we are not the insects I once thought we were.

We are the Spiders full of venom and anger. 

Trapped in the web we have so expertly made for ourselves. 

Spinning until we can no linger see ahead or behind. 

We are in a cloud of black and milky-white. 

There is nothing left but the case that surrounds us. 

But we will not go down as a man on death row, or a fly in a web. 

We will meet our end with anger and screams. 

Ripping ourselves from the inside out. 

The lives we we live are nothing more than the web we have spun. 

Unable to look ahead or behind. 

Unable to see our self. 

In the end we are left with ourscattered thoughts and broken dreams. 

Left only with what is inside our heads and in our hearts. 

In the end we will see what we have tried so hard to shut out. 

The Spider is the hate, the deceit, and the lies. 

We are the Spiders and we will not stop until we have consumed everything.

Ack

     I just developed of fear of spiders. Went into the bathroom and turned on the light to little ones scurring up on a string to the ceilng, and a huge one in the corner by the window. I feel like they are crawling on me now. Kinda grossed out and uncomfortable. Thought I would let you know.

Currently Listening Like, Love, Lust & the Open Halls of the Soul By Jesse Sykes and the Sweet Hereafter see related

Uhhh....

I think I may want to change my major. Or double major.  I'm going to have to mull and pray over this, and we shall see what God wants for my life.  All I really want in life is to help people.  As much as I love music and want to get young people involved, I feel as though it's not what I am made for.  I had a good reflect on my life today, and I must say I am pretty shaken up.  That was when social work degree hit me in the face. I'm shaking now.  Especially because the only thing I am going to get from my parents is a lack of respect, and a "You can't change your major now, you've spent two years in music education, you DO NOT want to change your major."  But honestly, I am at that point in my life.  It seems like doors are opening and closing, and my life is morphing into something real.

I'm scared and excited.

Currently Reading Miss Lonelyhearts & the Day of the Locust By Nathanael West see related

Tragedy in the Sea Monkey Kingdom

       A plauge on the tank has left my sea monkeys dead and dieing.  From 15 sea monkeys when I left to 2 robust males this morning. What was just a small scale battle must have turned into a full on war, killing the queen and many of her loyal court.  The only glimmer of hope is that the medicine I sent out for comes soon, and we are able to save  my two warriors and any unhatched sons and daughters of the beautiful Branwen. 

       Ciaran is morning the loss of his fallen bretheren by swimming mornfully in loops and circles.  Fintan doesn't look like he will pull through, he has turned a sickly shade of white and isn't swimming too well.  I'm incredibly upset, but I can do nothing for them except wait.

Currently Listening Underneath the Stars By Kate Rusby Polly see related

To Failure - Philip Larkin

You do not come dramatically, with dragons
That rear up with my life between their paws
And dash me butchered down beside the wagons,
The horses panicking; nor as a clause
Clearly set out to warn what can be lost,
What out-of-pocket charges must be borne
Expenses met; nor as a draughty ghost
That's seen, some mornings, running down a lawn.

It is these sunless afternoons, I find
Install you at my elbow like a bore
The chestnut trees are caked with silence. I'm
Aware the days pass quicker than before,
Smell staler too. And once they fall behind
They look like ruin. You have been here some time.